I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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