OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish you could order shots online.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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