make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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