batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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