I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
