I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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