Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
