it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
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You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
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The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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