took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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