I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize