it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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