Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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