What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
