Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
