Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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