Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
