How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
