I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
