Operation Purity has been aborted
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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