Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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