so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
