just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
