I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
