This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
