i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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