Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
