i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
