My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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