How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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