you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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