have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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