i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
