the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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