My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
