Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
