I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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