btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
