My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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