I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
