I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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