i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
