I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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