I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
