My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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