3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
