wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
