the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
