the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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