I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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