well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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