i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
