So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
