btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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