mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
