did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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