you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
